Thursday, December 6, 2012

separation anxiety

one of my dilemma as a working mom is leaving Rhiane behind. although i know she'll be in good hands though. we are blessed to have a yaya that's so concerned with our baby. i should not worry. but the mother in me can't help to feel guilty to leave her. sometimes it scares me she might love the yaya more or get her traits more from her than from me and her papa.

it was easier to step down the house when rhiane was about 6 or 7 months old. she'd even send me off and wave me goodbye with her charming smile. but now that she's on her 9th month, she'd cry everytime i leave. and cling to me when i try to hand her to manang (her yaya). it breaks my heart.. :( she's on a separation anxiety stage. it's a liitle comforting to know that even if i leave her often, Rhiane still loves me and still would prefer to be with mommy than anyone else.

being a first time mom, i just equipped my lack of experience with reading. so i have to read on how to handle rhiane when she throws a crying fit everytime i leave.
here are a few tips i'd like to share from

keep your goodbye short
A quick "Bye! see you this afternoon!" is ideal. "Prolonging the departure gives your child the idea that there's something to be afraid of," But here's the really tough part: Try not to let the sobbing lure you back. Reappearing after you've left only gives your child incentive to cry harder and longer next time.

match your body language to your words
"Your child can sense your confidence as you walk out the door," Cooper says. Flash a smile, give a cheerful wave. You'll be faking it, of course, but she won't know that yet. She'll just know that you feel good about who she's with -- and she can, too.

avoid sneaking off
Parents often dash out the door when the child isn't looking, hoping -- understandably! -- that this will preempt a meltdown. "But that's tricking your child, and it can break your child's trust in you," Instead, first ask your caregiver to redirect your child's attention right after you leave with a favorite toy, a game of peekaboo, or some new music (whatever), then say your quick goodbye.

when she's older and would be able to understand more, i'd definitely take time for a sit down talk and explain to her why mommy has to leave for work. and that everything i do now is for her.

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