Wednesday, February 16, 2011

to be or not to be

ever since i got hitched, i've been in to some serious thoughts- a housewife or a career woman. i always said that i don't picture myself as a housewife- since i'm not domesticated at all. it kinda changed a bit since i got married. since me and the hubby are based in diffrent cities, i take my very limited culinary skills to work- when i say limited, i mean its all fried or with the aid of the very reliable microwave oven. good thing, the hubby is not that hard to feed. he's used to tending himself anyway. nevertheless, i try my best to be the "wife" as a wife is suppose to be. i prepare his things to work, wake him up for work, clean the house and the likes. during the first months, i would complain to friends that i dislike staying at home and i always end up getting sick after i leave tacloban and go back to work to cebu.
i have friends who were career women themelves but chose to put that on hold when their babies came. honestly, i thought that was a crazy thing to do. i worked my ass off to get this degree and i wouldn't just throw it away in just one blow. i've made it clear to the hubby even before. it might change,who knows. now, i get to pat my back knowing that i served my husband and attended to his needs. i can say its a diffrent kind of satisfaction than making a good job attending to my patients and earning my own keeps. both roles are incomparable though.
they say that man's highest hierarchy of need is self-actualization. i know that being a full time mom or wife is as demanding as any career you have. having a career and being a wife and a mom, is crazy as it is. right now, i don't have to decide on it yet, since we're still on the works of getting our miracle. til then, i still have plenty of time to figure things out, and make use of this opportunity to handle the role i'm given with. and be the best i can be.. bottomline, whichever you choose, what matters most is the satisfaction you get. that is- self actualization.

1 comment:

♥chinchin♥ said...

Hi Ivy, I could relate to what you're feeling right now. Before I got married and had my kids, I wouldn't mind being busy or toxic. But when Andre came, I had to stop my internship and be a full time mom, and that's when my outlook in life changed. When I resumed my internship, I was always looking forward to going home early and marked my weekends off on my calendar. When Micah came I had to put my review on hold and take care of her. It seems that every decision I had to make in my life would depend on whether it would be good for the kids or not. I guess now you would understand the reason why I had to set my residency training aside. When it comes to taking care of hubby, I think it just comes natural for us being wife's to take care of them, because they say if we don't then they start looking somewhere else. But anyway, don't ever feel guilty if at times you feel you would rather stay home and be a wife, because there's nothing wrong with it. If i had a choice I would rather be at home and take care of the kids and hubby then work, but for practical reasons I need to do my share in supporting this family. At least my current work gives me the flexibility to be at home whenever I need to be, take care of hubby and the kids and still get to use my MD degree in a different way, lol!! Anyway, for now enjoy both worlds, being a wife and a career woman, and in the future if ever you end up being a full time wife and mom, then that just means you've shifted to a more demanding career, but one that would make you whole as a person.